You are your words

I would like you to try this little experiment.Look in the mirror, or just while sitting behind your computer, say to yourself: “You really don’t know what you are doing, do you?” Repeat this to yourself long enough and I guarantee that you will feel miserable in no time at all.

Now if you did exactly the opposite: “I’m good at what I do, I have unique talents” or something similar, you will find that your entire mood will lift.

What this is basically about is how the language you use impacts on what you feel about yourself.

So often, when I work with my clients, I find that by changing their language, using positive words instead of the negatives. By re-phrasing problems as situations requiring solutions or simply by writing down what they are grateful for in that specific day, their entire mood changes.

When you feel good, you do good. A bit of a cliché I know, however, it is so true.

My challenge for you is to become aware of how you speak about yourself, to others and yourself. How do you describe what it is you want to achieve. Is everything so much work or going to cost so much money, or do you have a task breakdown with realistic time-lines and an accurate costing.

When your language is positive, your goals become achievable. When your language is negative your dreams become nothing more than mist before the sun.

You choose.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

What would you do if you weren’t afraid? Not really a question that most people ask themselves, I know I hadn’t until I read this quote. I don’t think it’s a mind-set that has actually really been encouraged until the last few years with people starting to take on the responsibility of developing themselves and growing to their full potential.

A scary process, yet a process I found to be life changing. However, I didn’t attempt it blindly, I had the help of  Life Coaching. For me it was a first, after all, I can do everything on my own. At least I thought so. I apparently told my mom many years ago when I was still a “tween” that I didn’t need people.

Many moons later and a tad wiser, I think, I’ve come to realise that there are times when having someone walk along with you, who has your back, yet no vested interest in the outcome, makes taking that road “less travelled” so much easier.

So, what did I do? I took a deep breath and started my own business. Almost two years down the road, I’m still here and providing a service to those who need it.

What else? I now live my life according to my values and don’t allow others to dictate to me as to how I should live my life. Can be tricky sometimes as friends and family don’t always “get” the changes that you are making. More often than not it’s about negotiating new boundaries. Sometimes this happens naturally, other times it takes hard work and persistence.

Where to from now? Develop my business further and one of these fine days, my family and I will be on our farm, farming with goats and making cheese. Of course my daughter has a long list of animals required. Going to take some serious negotiation to ge that list shorter!

So when you have a chance, think about what you would do if you weren’t afraid. You may well surprise yourself.

Finding Your Purpose

Everyone has a purpose. You have something to give to the world that will not only enhance your own life, but also the people around you. Your purpose is not necessarily something that is Helen Zille big; you may be the stay-at-home-mom who is raising the next Helen Zille, which is just as important. Living your purpose gives you the energy and contentment that impacts on all areas of your life and the people who you come into contact with. It is life-changing.

Finding that purpose is however, were you may be stuck. Fortunately there are professionals with tools and practices who can help us through the process.

Finding your purpose is two fold. Firstly it is about passion. Be careful though, as this isn’t a 100% foolproof mechanism, merely a guide. Why? While you may be passionate about something, you may not be very good at it. A shining example are those kids who take part in the reality shows for singing and quite frankly, shouldn’t be on the stage.

Secondly, know your strengths. Not what you can do, that’s brain work. I’m talking about that which comes so naturally, you don’t even think about it, you just do it.

So here is a little exercise that may help you along your way. Set some time aside. Okay, stop laughing. Write down at least 5 things that you are passionate about, don’t think about whether they are realistic or even do-able, 5 things that you love to do and will make all the time in the world to do and lastly 5 things that you do that come so naturally to you, you don’t even notice. See if any of these items on your list link up. There you go; you’ve taken the first step to finding your purpose.